Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Step 42: Curse Everyone on the Planet


I don't have cable because I tend to waste my life away watching horrible reality TV shows. (They just suck you in! You can't blame me! If something is flashy and shiny and has lots of screaming involved, I can't look away.) However, there are still some fabulous shows that I love on cable, so I just watch the shows that I like on Hulu every week to keep up and buy the shows later.

This has been a full proof method until 30 Rock: Season 4. I missed the beginning of the fourth season because I forgot that it started or something...I don't remember why, but the point is, by the time I realized my mistake, Hulu had already taken off the first few episodes. I decided that rather than watch the rest of the season without the beginning episodes, I would wait all year until it came out on DVD. It was a long. hard. 30 Rock-less. year.

Two weeks ago, I finally ordered and received the much anitcipated fourth season. I open the package and pull out the disc on the far left of the tri-fold case. I started watching it kind of late one night, and I ended up falling asleep after three episodes or so. The next day I watched the rest of the disc. I felt confused as to what exactly was going on, but I just attributed it to the fact that I watched the beginning few episodes sort of sleepy (being sleepy in my family is approximately the same as being on heroine, so who knows what I saw). I continued with the season, but I kept feeling confused.

Yesterday, I sit down to watch the rest of the last disc. I press "select episode" rather than "play all" and realize, to my horror, that I was watching disc 1. Some fool of a person put the discs into the case wrong! They were ordered 2, 3, 1. At that point, I basically went into a rage black out and cursed everyone on the planet (sorry, everyone on the planet).

But, after some deep breaths, extensive swearing, and kicking my feet on my floor until the guy under me hit the ceiling with his broom handle, I calmed down and started the season over. The right way.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Step 41: New Things I Have Been Doing On Repeat So You Should Probably Do Them Too

1. yelling "Neva heard of him/her/it" in a bizarre accent that sounds vaguely British

2. saying "bobsled" instead of "cool" for no reason...no reason at all

3. calling seventh graders with braces "metal-mouth" because they always act shocked and hurt no matter how many times you say it

4. wearing leggings as real pants even when people tell you things like, "you are always wearing your pajamas everywhere"

5. listening to the Robert Francis song "Mescaline" on repeat at home, in the car, in the work place, on walks and anything else I may do

6. googling the word mescaline on your school computer where the district watches everything you do over and over as you look for the Robert Francis song "Mescaline"....they probably didn't even notice, right?

7. telling your students that you are going to stab your eyes out if they click that pen one more time, and then when they inevitably click their pen one more time, fall to your knees and drive your thumbs into your eyes while some of the girls yelp and gasp in shock even though this is a daily occurrence in class